Hi Lovelies, as of last Wednesday- I have officially been on maternity leave!! I have had such a long to do list- that I really feel like I am on a stacation to clean my house. And as of last Friday- I am full term!!
Instead of recapping the last two weeks, I want to give you non-mom's a glimpse into pregnancy. This is just a little list that I came up with while trying to shave my legs in the shower this morning, and by no means captures all the joys of pregnancy. AKA this is me not holding back. If you want to know what it's like to feel almost 38 weeks pregnant here's what you should do:
1. Start by being super romantic with your partner in bed. Fun, right? All things start off so fun.
2. Stop drinking water and eating fiber, and eat a lot of salt. Wait two days. Are your hands the sizes of sausages?? How's the bloat feeling? Extra bonus points if you have cankles.
3. Get two pairs of the chicken cutlet boob things and put them in your bra. Now, get a blow up beach ball. Figure out how to put in at lease 15lbs of sand into said ball and finish blowing it up. Strap it to your waist. Now try to find something in your closet that fits and looks cute. Extra points if your chicken cutlets start to leak.
4. Stand up for 8 hours. How does your back feel now?
5. Write a to do list. Now tear the bottom half off and throw it away. Make sure that one thing on the list that you threw away was financial and one thing that your husband really wanted done. That's pregnancy brain.
6. Take something perishable from your fridge, now leave it out on the counter. For three days. Smell that. That's pregnancy nose.
7. Run a half marathon. Then try to take off and put on your pants and shoes.
8. After doing all of the above, go to work for 8 hours and come home and make dinner.
9. Drink a gallon of water then with the cutlets and beach ball in place, climb into bed with your partner. Tell your partner that you forgot to do said thing on your to do list.
10. Think about being romantic.
If you aren't laughing in your partners face or up all night going the bathroom, repeat steps 2-9.
Honestly, I realized I am blessed with a healthy pregnancy, but sometimes I just have to find humor in the details.
Here I am at 37 weeks, 5 days. I am FULL TERM!! She could come any day. She's measuring right on size- so she's most likely over 6lbs and over 19 inches long!! I am officially swollen and checking my rings daily to see if they still fit.
So, would you be willing to try steps 1-9??
BTW, I was featured on the SpearmintBaby earlier this week- check me out.