I officially feel like I am in the in-between.
Someone recently told me that they like this blog because it doesn't focus on weddings or babies. It's the in-between.
I am no longer single or in my 20's, but we don't have a family either. As Catherine at Forty Twenty Four, so nicely put it, we don't really go out on the weeknight, but I love a great Happy Hour. A perfect weekend for me includes Happy Hour on Friday- home by 10pm with a nice little buzz on. And while I don't party like I use to, I still don't want to talk to my parents before noon on the weekend.
Ideally, at least one weekend morning I'd stay in bed until to around 11ish, and the other weekend morning I'd be uber productive and maybe even go to my Niece's swim class.
I don't read the 'How to Catch A Guy' advice columns any more, but I also don't relate to the 'How to Keep the Sizzle in your Marriage' columns (usually at least one item on the list is 'go out on a date night and don't talk about the kids.') And I am still perplexed on why I get kid's clothing catalogs, and who signed me up to receive Redbook Magazine?
I also live between being too old for Ikea but too broke to really afford Design within Reach. I find most of West Elm too poor of quality and while I love CB2, I also sometimes think that they are going for the 'I just graduated from college cool kid,' which being almost 10 years out of college, I am no longer.
There are no Romantic Comedies about a married couple before they have babies. Just romantic comedies about finding love or having a family.
I buy Banana Republic on sale, and lust after dresses at Bloomingdales.
I don't own a home, but I obsessively watch people buy them on HGTV. In my head, I am that super savvy future home owner.
I also don't have kids, but with four nieces and nephews, I can tell you a thing or two (or twenty) about pregnancy, diaper rash, and what your kid should be doing when.
So I am officially in the in-between. I don't know if I've ever been here before. At least when I was single I could read the dating advice columns.
Well, anyway, this is my long winded way of saying that I feel missed. Misrepresented and just not represented at all. There has to be more than weddings and babies. Which is probably why this blog is focused on design and my wish to nest.
Am I missing something? Is there an in-between club that I can join? Who out there feels the same way? I am sure there is a million dollar idea out there for us in the in-between.
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13 comments:
Dear Sugar,
Get out of my head! Though we're on a lower economic rung than you (SINKs rather than DINKs), I'm identifying with everything you're saying. While I love reading the baby blogs and I still love seeing professional wedding pictures, I can't identify with either of those groups.
I think the thing is - for people with no kids, no huge event coming up, and no wish to go out and spend like crazy... how do companies market to us? And marketing creates a trickle-down effect when it comes to stuff to talk about. Don't know if that makes any sense?
yes! yes! yes! thank you for posting this, because i was starting to feel like i wasn't getting it - without even knowing what "it" is!
I'm a tweener too... and giving myself permission to enjoy it and not compare. Why compare? Just enjoy. You can be whatever you want to be.
Also: we came from the world of wedding blogs, yes? So lots of the newly-married are newly-procreating. Lots of us aren't, not all at once, but because we know wedding people from a swath of time (2 - 3 years between the early and the late), it feels like everyone's procreating.
I wish there was an in-between club, I'd be all over that!
@Marisa, I don't know if I am comparing, but I just feel out in the ether.
Maybe I will make a club for us tweeners.
Well, clearly I'm right there with you. All our friends are in family start-up or totally single with no partner in sight. I feel like we're the only people at this stage but then so many people got married around the same time we did.
Also, you mentioned Redbook. I was just telling Micah that I think I'm too old for all the fashion magazines we get. I don't need to know if he's the one (Cosmo, Marie Claire, etc.) but I don't think anywhere near Better Homes and Garden. I like things like Martha Stewart but I can only relate to about half the articles.
We're totally underrepresented!
This is me! This is me! (Except, without nieces and nephews because I'm the oldest by a bit, and my brothers are still in college.) We just got married this summer; I'm totally over weddings and I'm, um, under? babies. We just aren't ready yet... in fact, we're not even ready to say we'll BE ready in the future! We just don't know.
I so agree with you about being missed. Everything is targeting to the young, the brides-to-be, and the mothers. There's no married-lifestyle-without-kids, it seems. There's only so much nesting you can do in a rental you know you're not staying in forever, and there's only so much dreaming and hoping and planning you can do without feeling like you're wasting your time and missing out on all those other things that must be out there. Somewhere.
Compound that, in our situation, with living in a totally rural area where people have kids early and they buy houses early. We are well behind the curve - our friends' kids are almost in middle school - and it's not that we compare, but we certainly do feel out of place at times.
I absolutely love this post, lady. Thank you for putting it all into words!
I need to join this club too! Your post has me thinking...what types of things can be marketed for the in-between? I totally agree with you that it is under-represented!
I want to be part of the in-between club. I feel like I am totally caught between two worlds most of the time.
Amen to everything you said/feel! Great post!
I'm in between, I just never thought to verbalize it. I've felt like my husband and I are stuck in a waiting pattern lately. We've been married nearly a year and a half but haven't jumped on the baby bandwagon, haven't bought our house, so people don't understand us. There is the gap between what others expect of us, and where we are. I find myself frustrated because I feel out of place. I'm glad I'm not the only one! I'm working on enjoying where we are now instead of focusing solely on the future.
Thank you for putting into words what I've felt for a while now!
Me! Me! (waves hand!) This is definitely where we are. Just barely out of being newlyweds and not actively starting a family, able to live decently, can go out but don't want to go out late...I have to admit that I like it. A lot. Minus the whole career thing (ahem!), I really like my life right now actually.
Totes. Please keep posting on this topic - it's desperately needed in the blogging world. I've officially put a ban on friends telling me they're preggers, and lead most phone conversations with friends I haven't seen in awhile with "Please don't tell me..." Not that I'm not totally psyched for my new momma friends but I am just.not.there.yet. and don't want to be before I'm ready (which will probably be in 5-7 years at the rate I'm maturing).
On the other hand I visited a friend in another city a couple of months ago, and we left her house to go out at 10:30pm. Yawn and sigh, I realized I'm way more comfortable with the after-work happy hour or weekend day drinking than I am with the late night shenanigans any more.
On that note, let's get through Friday so I can hit my 5:30 happy hour and be home by 10 ;)
I'm a tweener too! And, I find that my blog is going the design way, but unfortunately I don't have an unlimited budget to take on all the projects I want. Also, I'm with you on the niece front, no nephews yet.
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