But this post isn't about my favorite topic, Sugar Bear. It's about the blessing and the curse of getting what I wanted for years- a new job with new responsibilities. (I've avoided this post because I want to keep things positive, but I am struggling and just need to share).
The new job was a bit like a transfer with a small raise and a big step up into Supervision!
Beyond a slight pay increase and supervising, I really took the job because it allowed Mr. Spice and I buy a house and work in the same community. No more commute for the Mister, saving him 2 hours in his day and soo much $$$ I can't even tell you.
Of course with benefits are negatives that I didn't really foresee. First, I work out in the country, so our offices are much more remote than my old downtown SF gig. I don't even get cell reception.
Second, I just don't have work 'friends.' Maybe this is something that will just develop over time, but with the remote location of our offices, I am just feeling stranded out here.
Third, Supervising is so much tougher than I ever imagined. To say that I am challenged on a daily basis is an understatement. Part one of the challenge: the folks I am supervising have been with this agency longer and know more technically then I do.
Part two: personalities.
Part One, I can get over and learn. Part Two coupled with Part One is what I am struggling with.
Not only do they know more than I do; I also didn't hire them, so there is a small power struggle going on. Plus, I am really really struggling with some negativity that just won't go away. I try to come from a place of positiveness, but for a few folks, everything I say is taken negatively or misconstrued.
Another wrench, I have an Acting Supervisor, whom has been a great asset in this transition, but he is 'new' to his position and not everyone likes his decisions or the direction that I am getting from him.
I think about looking for a new job, but the kicker is- being a new supervisor/ learning how to supervise is going to be tough any where. Right?? So if I give up here, will somewhere else really be that different??
I have so much more sympathy for my old supervisors. I now understand and appreciate them soo much more. (Just like having a kid- you appreciate who got you where you are today).
I don't know where this post is going. But I just had to get my struggle off my chest. I just feel like in a few situations I am in a no win situation. And I have no one around me to take the weight off my chest.
I've started to reach out to other folks who supervise and get their opinion or feedback. But this learning curve is no joke. And being the new kid is NO fun.
Thank you for letting me just lay it all out there. Any suggestions are totally appreciated!!